


her

by BSnows



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Also bellamy and lexa hate each other, Alternate Universe, Because they're minor and Clexa is actually endgame forever, F/F, Family Drama, Fine Stud Lexa, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Pregnant Clarke, The interactions between Clarke and Bellamy are minor, cheers - Freeform, clexa au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 17:11:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11235504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BSnows/pseuds/BSnows
Summary: "Clarke,"  she hears Lexa's sleepy voice whispering and she has to close her eyes to process it. Her voice is still a weakness. "It's late."Clarke looks back at the clock on the other side of the living room and curses herself for not checking it before calling her. It's actually 2 am now, and Lexa works tomorrow morning. "I-hm, I'm sorry," Clarke whispers, "I didn't realize it was this late.""It's ok," Lexa says and Clarke can tell she's smiling, "I did tell you can call me anytime."or: little story where Clarke and Bellamy have a daughter together and they're getting married soon, but Lexa gets in the way because they're still soulmates (!!!!!SPOILER!!!!!!: clexa is endgame and the whole thing is dramatic af sorry)





	her

Clarke feels that ache in her heart, again. 

She looks at her fiancé, who's curled up in a soft gray blanket and holding it against his chest like if it was something precious, just like he does when he holds Clarke.

Bellamy is a kind soul, one of the many reasons why she has fallen in love with him. Clarke finds herself thinking about how he has always been like this. He's always calm, always about to make decisions in the most reasonable way for both of them. Always ready to take care, to help, to understand.

It reminds her of someone.  
  
He's great except when the subject is _her._  
  
Clarke looks down a little and her smile slowly fades away. It still hurts. And it's still confusing.  
  
She looks at the piece of paper on the desk again, containing a series of names of people she's considering inviting to their wedding in a few months. And there's no "Lexa" in the list. She takes a deep breath like if she was about to face a demon of some sort. She can't invite Lexa to her wedding because Lexa would never accept it and even if she did, Bellamy and Lexa would try to kill each other. Or at least tease each other during the toasts.  
  
"You're huffing too much," she hears Bellamy and promptly looks at him again. The boy still has his eyes closed and he's still holding onto the blanket like a little kid. "What's wrong?"  
  
"It's nothing," Clarke lies, holding the pen in her hand and biting it before looking at the paper again. "Nothing to worry about."

Bellamy hums a noise that suggests he didn't buy that at all. Clarke keeps her eyes on the paper as Bellamy lazily stretches his arms and sits on the bed. 

"Tell me."

Bellamy's hopeless. And that's something Clarke appreciates so much.

Just maybe not now.

"It's nothing, Bell," Clarke repeats, loving that Bellamy's messy hair and sleepy eyes don't match with the constancy of his voice. "Go back to sleep, I'll finish it tomorrow. I'll just drink some water and then I'm laying with you, ok?"

Bellamy's still hasn't bought it, but there's nothing he could do, so he simply nods with a suspicious face and goes back sleeping. 

Clarke makes sure that he has his eyes closed before she stops smiling again and grabs her phone on her pocket. She holds it against her chest and carefully walks out of the bedroom and makes sure she has properly closed the door.  
  
As soon as she reaches the living room, she heads to the biggest window of the apartment she has just bought with Bellamy. It's a nice place, indeed. Too big for just the three of them, which makes her think that it makes Bellamy happy, considering that he wants more kids as soon as possible.   
  
Clarke's stomach hurts and she remembers about the cell phone she's been holding against her chest. She opens its contact list and scrolls down until she finds it. She had to change Lexa's name to "Lincoln's cousin" to avoid Bellamy finding out she still calls her at times.  
  
To avoid Bellamy finding out she still misses her, actually. And when her fingers press the call button, it's like all the air coming from the window isn't enough. She spots her ashtray upon the windowsill and wishes that she has a cigarette with her right now because waiting for Lexa to answer the phone will always be agonizing.  
  
Until she answers it. 

And no one dares to say a thing.

 _"Clarke,"_   she hears Lexa's sleepy voice whispering and she has to close her eyes to process it. Her voice is still a weakness. _"It's late."_

Clarke looks at the time on the screen of her phone and curses herself for not minding to pay attention to it before calling her. It's actually 2 am now, and Lexa works tomorrow morning. "I-hm, I'm sorry," Clarke whispers, "I didn't realize it was this late."

 _"It's ok,"_ Lexa says and Clarke can tell she's smiling, _"I did tell you that you can call me anytime."_

Clarke laughs, it's ridiculous that she can't stop smiling whenever she's speaking with Lexa on the phone. It's actually their thing. Whenever they call each other, they smile through all of it. And the fact that they admit it to each other is more than sufficient to prove that both of them still feel the same after all these years.  
  
_"Now, stop smiling,"_ Lexa whispers as she tries to hold back her own smile. _"How's Maddie?"_

"She's great," Clarke whispers, pride warming up her chest. "Our baby girl is getting smarter each day. And she's stubborn, too. Reminds me of you."

Lexa sighs. _"I'd like to meet her in person."_  
  
"She feels the same," Clarke says, thinking that maybe it would be a nice time to tell the truth about Maddie.  
  
But Lexa interrupts her thoughts. _"What about you, w_ _hy did you call me?"_

Clarke's smile fades away as quickly as her eyes start tearing up and she feels the need to look up to avoid crying more.

"Oh, God," she says and laughs sadly. "You won't like it."

Lexa makes a pause. _"I can take it."_

Clarke opens her mouth to say something, but words won't come to mind. "It's just, I-"

But Lexa knows her too well.

_"You said 'I do'"._

Clarke doesn't say anything and her silence is what Lexa needs to understand it on her own.

Lexa sighs, she painfully sighs. " _Why are you calling me, Clarke?"_

"I'm sorry. I was making the invitation list," she whispers and hears Lexa as she's clearly tearing up too, "and I was about to write your name. And I don't know. I don't know what to do."

 _"You don't know if you're inviting me to your wedding,"_ Lexa whispers in an aggressive tone, _"is that why you're fucking calling me?"_

 _"_ Don't be like this," Clarke pleads. "I don't know what to do."

Clarke hears Lexa sighing loudly, she wishes she could stop Lexa from crying, she hates the sound of it, but she can't even stop herself. She wishes there was something she could do to make things right. But then, things won't ever be right, because no matter what she chooses to do, someone that she loves is going to get hurt. 

"I miss you," Clarke finally says with a shaking voice. "I need to see you."

 _"I'm in town. I'm picking you up in 20 minutes,"_   Lexa whispers. _"Send me your address, I hope you'll be by the door when I arrive."_

And Lexa hangs up, leaving Clarke speechless, wishing a cigarette more than ever.

"Who was it?"

Clarke hears Bellamy's voice and she quickly turns to see him, innocently hiding the phone behind her back and wiping away her own tears. 

"It was my mom," she lies, although Bellamy clearly knows who was it. "I- she was emotional, talking about losing me to you."

Bellamy nods, not believing a single word. "Why did you call _her_?"

"What?" Clarke tries her best to sound like she doesn't know what he's talking about. "I didn't call my mom, she called me."

"Clarke, stop," he says, and she doesn't think she's ever seen him look this disappointed. "We bought a house, we're getting married, you have me and we have a daughter. Isn't that enough for you?"

Clarke leans her back against the window and sighs, giving up to put on an act she knew from the start that wouldn't work out.   
  
"I'm sorry," Clarke says and she means it. "But it's not what it looks like."

"I don't want to know," Bellamy shakes his head. "I'll go back sleeping because I work tomorrow morning and I need to help to pay the bills for a house that shelters a 3-year-old baby."  
  
Clarke watches him as he enters the bedroom again, but before he closes the door behind him, he looks at her with sad eyes. She knows that he knows that Clarke won't ever love him the way she used to love Lexa. "Clarke, if you go, don't bother coming back."

Clarke knows that if Maddie wasn't sleeping, he would have closed that door in a more dramatic and loud way. She feels the need to reach for the couch near her and sit down for a little bit. It doesn't feel like it's real, everything just happened so fast.

She looks at the phone in her sweaty and shaky hand and thinks about calling Lexa again to cancel the plans. She can't afford to lose Bellamy, he's great with Maddie, even though he's not her biological father, and they do have a good life together.

But it doesn't matter, no matter how hard she tries, Bellamy is not Lexa. And he'll never be able to take her place in her heart.  
  
She really misses her.   
  
**[2:12 am] Clarke:**  
**arkadia residential building, next to the place you used to work**

 **[2:12 am] Lincoln's cousin:**  
 **Clarke, I thought you had backed down.**  
  
**[2:13 am] Lincoln's cousin:**  
**Glad you didn't. See you in a bit. <3**  
  
Clarke looks up and breathes out. She carefully walks to Maddie's bedroom to check herself in the mirror. She really is going to meet the love of her life in person after 2 years wearing pajamas and with a wild hair day. She needs a brush, at least.  
  
"Mommy?"   
  
"Mommy's here", she says, cursing the old drawer and the sound it makes and hoping that Maddie's about to sleep again, "go back to sleep, baby girl."  
  
"Mommy, where you going?"  
  
Clarke stops looking for a brush and looks at her daughter. She walks to her and kisses her forehead before tucking her in. "Mommy's going nowhere."  
  
Big green eyes stare at her with curiosity. "I want to come with you."  
  
Clarke smiles before bending down. The little one is fierce, she caresses her chubby cheek and sighs. "Tomorrow we'll find an adventure of our own, right, love? Right now mommy's going to sleep, and so will you."   
  
Maddie nods and closes her eyes straight away, anxious about planning an adventure with Clarke the next day.  Clarke stays with her until she feels like Maddie's in a deep sleep, and until it's time for her to go downstairs.   
  
She crosses her arms tight against her blue robe and tries her best to get out of the apartment without making a sound. She checks herself in the elevator mirror again. She avoids the judging look on the doorman's face and gets out of the building with a sigh. It almost feels like freedom.  
  
And there she is.  
  
Looking at her through her expensive car's window with that lopsided smile on her pretty lips. 

Clarke crosses her arms tighter against her chest, already predicting the jokes on Clarke's clothes. She passes by Lexa without saying a word, although her heart is racing like mad, and she enters the car on the other side.  
  
"I would open the door for you," Lexa says, mesmerized by Clarke's presence beside her. "But you know, you didn't let me."  
  
"There's no need for that," Clarke says, looking at Lexa's eyes for the first time since she entered the car. And it feels like home. "God, we're in the middle of the night," Clarke says, looking at Lexa's black tight pants and white bottom up, "and you had to dress up, didn't you? You never change."  
  
Lexa lets out a laugh, and then she shrugs. "You know that I like to keep it formal, unlike you."  
  
Clarke rolls her eyes on Lexa's judgmental voice and looks ahead. Lexa laughs a little bit until she's staring at Clarke and waiting for her to say something. "So we haven't seen each other in a couple of years and still, nothing's changed."  
  
Lexa wished Clarke could actually look in her eyes right now. "No," she says, " _nothing_."  
  
Clarke looks at her and there it is. Those hungry eyes. Clarke wished that the doorman wasn't looking at them because she would definitely jump on her. She misses her lips and the sweet taste of her tongue.  
  
"Clarke," Lexa says, noticing that Clarke won't actually kiss her because she thinks too much and she's in a relationship with someone else. "Do you love him?"  
  
Clarke looks down, feeling her stomach aching again. "I do."  
  
Lexa tries her best to keep herself from tearing up, again. "Do you love him like you loved me?"  
  
Clarke looks at her again. She shakes her head, "no."   
  
"Why did you accept marrying him, then?" Lexa says with pain in her voice, "I know there's Maddie, but _Jesus,_ " Lexa looks ahead because she'll cry if Clarke actually starts crying too, "you shouldn't be with someone you don't really love."  
  
"Because you broke my heart, Lexa," Clarke says, calmly, unlike Lexa's desperate tone, "and you left me alone when I needed you. I am still mad. But every time I think of you or I listen to your voice, my heart aches because I know it isn't how things were supposed to be."  
  
"I told you I'll do anything to make it up to you," Lexa mirrors Clarke's tone. She reaches for Clarke's hand and holds it between her two hands. Clarke's hands are cold, which means either she's feeling very cold or she's very nervous. "I'll do anything, Clarke."  
  
Clarke laughs a sad laugh and looks away, not daring to let go of Lexa's hand. "Will you forgive me?"  
  
Lexa frowns. "What do you mean?"  
  
Clarke breathes out, she can't believe this is finally happening. "Oh, I don't even know if there's a right way to do this. But, do you remember when you cheated on me?"  
  
Lexa nods once, regret still intact in her eyes.  
  
"I was already pregnant."  
  
Lexa frowns harder. "I don't get it."  
  
"I got with Bellamy right after you cheated on me because I wanted you to feel the way I felt. And then I found out I was pregnant. I thought she was his, but I had a feeling in my heart," Clarke looks down, feeling that she won't be able to hold back her shaking voice," so I made a test in the Hospital's lab and-"  
  
"And?"  
  
Clarke looks at her with a half smile and sad eyes. "She's yours."  
  
Lexa feels everything happening in slow motion. Because, honestly, what the _fuck_. Clarke's saying sorry and other things but all she can think of is the first time that she saw that baby via Facetime and she opened her green eyes and gave a little smile for her and Lexa felt all the love in the world.  
  
She thought she had felt it because it was a little piece of Clarke, but she's a little piece of both of them.  
  
"And I tried to tell you but I didn't want to hurt Bellamy and-"  
  
"She's mine," Lexa says, her smile getting bigger in her face. "Oh, my God."  
  
Clarke looks at her in confusion, expecting a whole other reaction.  
  
"Clarke," she says with big green eyes, just like Maddie, "go upstairs, grab our daughter and lets run away."  
  
"Lexa," Clarke still looks surprised, but she can't help but chuckle, "you know this isn't how it all works, love."  
  
Lexa can't process the happiness inside her chest. She could be angry, she could be sad for missing the first three years of her daughter's life, but she's most thankful that the world has given them another chance.  
  
She puts her hand on Clarke's cheek and caresses her soft skin. Clarke closes her eyes with the feeling of her touch, like always. "I know it won't be easy, but I'll be right there with you, all the time."  
  
Clarke listens to her very carefully and nods.   
  
"I love you, Clarke," Lexa says, she looks at Clarke's lips before looking at her bright eyes again, "I always did. The past belongs to the past and it will no longer affect us. Because ahead of us, there's a future so happy and so bright that we can't afford to lose it."  
  
Clarke nods again and closes her eyes when Lexa kisses her forehead. "I love you too," she says before mentally telling the doorman to fuck himself, because she pushes Lexa to a kiss so urgent, so thirsty for her mouth that it makes Lexa accidentally press the car horn.  
  
She knows they already have done it in awkward places in the past, but when she feels Lexa's hand inside her panties, she feels the need to stop her.  
  
"Why?" Lexa whines against her mouth.  
  
"The doorman. Behind you."  
  
Lexa stops kissing Clarke to slowly look behind her, and the doorman is standing in the door of the building with a shocked face. Lexa gently smiles at him before looking with big eyes at Clarke, making the girl laugh.   
  
"Can you sleep at my place tonight?" Lexa says, pressing her lips against Clarke's one last time. "I really miss you."  
  
Clarke sighs. "I'm sorry, I can't. Not tonight, I need to talk to him first."  
  
Lexa nods. "I'll pick you both up tomorrow when you call me, ok?"  
  
Clarke agrees and gets out of Lexa's car, leaving the girl with sad eyes behind. When she's halfway her way to the doorman, Lexa calls her from her car.  
  
"Clarke," Lexa says, making the blonde turns to look at her. "Thank you."  
  
Clarke nods and blinks at her before she gets back on making her way straight to the elevator and avoiding eye contact with that cranky man.  
  
When she opens the door of the apartment, though, Maddie's on the couch wearing her blanket as a cape, waiting for her.  
  
"You said you weren't going anywhere, mommy."   
  
"Oh, baby," Clarke walks to her and picks her up, holding her tight in her arms. "I'm sorry, but I'm here now."  
  
"Were you on an adventure?" Maddie asks her, her little arms around Clarke's neck.   
  
Clarke evaluates her response and she smiles. "I was. And I'll tell you everything about it tomorrow morning."  
  
Maddie puts her little fists in the air and pretends that she's screaming of joy because Clarke warned her with her eyes not to make any noise. "Is it a nice adventure?"  
  
Clarke smiles at the little girl with Lexa's eyes and warmth spreads across her chest.  
  
"The greatest of our lives."

**Author's Note:**

> LATE DISCLAIMER:
> 
> yes, Lexa got Clarke pregnant and yes, like I said before, if the bible says a woman came from the rib of a man then I can write a fic where Lexa gets Clarke pregnant k bye
> 
> [(find me here)](http://loupagneau.tumblr.com/)


End file.
